If you've done any reading on the subject you realize that I am currently taking a mountain of steroids each day. Although these pills are magical and they really help with the acceptation of the organs they also have some very nasty downsides to them. One of those downsides are extreme mood swings. I mean like from rage to tears in a single breath. So I ask for your understanding.
Yesterday, both my dad and my brother each drove more than 3 hours to see me.
And in a bit of a selfish funk - I turned them both away. Not only because I am not real proud of my current condition and appearance but also because of the added crazy pills - I was just not very nice.
I am so appreciative of everyone's love and caring that I really don't want to jeopardize any of my relationships with anyone.
I plead for your understanding here. I promise not to use this as an excuse. The steroids will decrease the father out I get and I hope to return to my gregarious, lovable self. (Ok, that was to be a funny).
I love you all.
Please forgive me for my shortcomings.
Dad & Pat, I am truly sorry.
That explains A-Rod...
ReplyDeleteHope everything turns around today and things start looking up.
As someone who has been on upwards of 80mg of prednisone (steroids) many a times for my asthma...i can attest to the extreme mood swings bob is talking about. They are BAD...like loosing your mind bad...like sobbing over some stupid TV commercial...or like screaming at someone who pointed out that your shoe was untied. It really is out of your control...so I hope your Dad and brother understand. Steroids are a blessing and a curse at the same time because they are often the only thing that works to make ya better. Hang in there Bob! :)
ReplyDelete38 years a diabetic. 2 1/2 years on the transplant list. Close encounter with dialysis. 1 week post op. You have come a long way and have a long way to go. Cut yourself some slack. People understand its not an easy journey. You are not alone. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteSeriously...as above comment says...you HAVE come a long way. You should be very proud! No one expects you to be a happy well groomed completely healed accommodating host when they come to see you...they just want to see you and spend some time with you to share their love. Dont be so hard on yourself ;) We all love you no matter what!
ReplyDeleteAhhhh dammit.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are gonna make me cry!!!
at least we know the steroids are working then ;)
Deletecan i offer you my sleeve to wipe your tears and nose? ;)
Bob...Everyone understands (or is trying to inderstand) what you're going through. Beth described the steroid nightmare perfectly! So hang in there! We love you!
ReplyDeleteBob you always amaze me how you can be so happy and positive having been thorough all that you've been through. You have so much concern and compassion for everyone around you, always putting yourself last. So many days, we knew that you had to feel like crap, but never ever complained. I think that everyone is willing to cut you a little slack. Cut yourself a break. We all know the real bob and love him to pieces!
ReplyDeleteI would fly across the country to see you! If you weren't up to it I would leave my calling card : ) The charming, witty Bob Lenz is there and there is no hiding it...even if you are grumpy.
ReplyDeleteKeep on the path and know you are "surrounded"...
Lisa