Numbers and other matters.......

It's a new day and I received a call from Pinnacle very early this morning to tell me that the donor pancreas, removed last night, was determined to be "fatty" and would not be transplanted into me or anyone else. The doctors at Pinnacle are very tough with their criteria of what they will accept and for these strict limitations I am grateful as it should greatly lessen the problems a recipient may encounter later.

I also received some info that will answer many of the questions that I've had and many of you have had recently, that is; "How could I possibly be getting transplant offers when I've only been on the list for six months?" I was told this morning that I went from tenth to second in line because of the aforementioned strict limitations that temporarily take a possible recipient out of the mix. Things as simple as a cold, an open wound, a low grade fever, dental problems, discrepencies in bloodwork, or a number of other things automatically put a recipient on hold until these issues are resolved. And so I am currently second in line at Pinnacle for a kp transplant but since others have accumulated more waiting time / points, if or when they become healthier, I will slide back toward ten. Like I've said before, there's a lot to this transplant business.

You can be sure that I'm taking this reprieve time to tend to the matters that had me in such a tizzy yesterday. Thank you all for your offers of help with everything...and I still may take you up on it!  ; )

Enjoy this day!

Fear is a friend that we misunderstand....

Ok so here's the deal so far... The donor is a young person who is brain dead but not physically gone. The tx doctors now plan to take this person into the operating room tonight at 9 pm or after to recover the organs as they have doctors coming in from all over the place to each get specific choice organs (young organs are highly prized by transplant surgeons because, in their youth, these organs work so well and are so full of life that they transplant really well). This donors lungs, for example, are going to be taken by a doctor flying in from Pittsburgh for transplant in a patient out in that end of the state. And so now I am allowed to have a light dinner but nothing after 9 pm. The center promised to call me either way but cautioned that I may not hear from them before 7 am tomorrow.

So as far as it goes for me - I'm just in a holding pattern. A little jittery but holding. If you've got an extra prayer to send up this evening please offer it for the very caring, very loving, unselfish family who at this very hour are dealing with the loss of their loved one.
May God comfort them in their sorrow and graciously reward them for their generous gifts of life to so many people.

Walking the wire......

11:45am - The tx center just called to say that the donor was in the operating room and they were recovering the organs and that they are currently screening the primary candidate. That I am still on deck but I am allowed to eat lunch.

9:45 am I just got off the phone w the tx center - their doing cross matching. I am backup. So if the primary can't for any reason. It's all me. They want me to be cautiously optimistic.

One more time around might do it.......

It's just after 4:30 am on Thursday June 9th. Last night was very warm here with a low of 76 degrees. I had just fallen into a fitfull sleep about 2:30. At 4:30  I was awakened by another phone call from Pinnacle. This one has a sense of urgency about it. I was told that I am on standby again, but this time I wasn't told to 'just go about my day until I hear anything". This morning I was told to "have breakfast and then nothing else" and that they would be calling me back as soon as the matching was completed. Now, for all of you who are now thinking "Yeah! Alright!! Goodluck man!!!" and had these same thoughts last week when I was called, let me tell you first, how much I appreciate the good wishes,
Second, let me tell you that right now, as I type this, I am pretty damn petrified.

Last week was like a slap in the face to me where all of this suddenly became very real. I mean, I know it's real when each day I feel a little bit worse than the day before, but since last Friday night there has been this real sense of needing to get things done. Now again, I am under that gun with so much yet to do. Things like scheduling my bills to be paid..., writing down all the passwords to my bill paying accounts...having my house taken care of,work,gettinginvoicesout,gettingmycarinspected,work,getting graduationgiftstakencareof,shoot'sihavescheduled,planningforpeoplecomingtovisit,havingmygardentendedto,makingplansformyclasses,work,takingcareofinsurance...and making a myriad of other plans.

I sit here as the night fades into dawn wondering what / how much I can get done in the next few hours. And yet I sit here with my stomach feeling like I'm about to get on the scariest rollercoaster that I've ever been on and my mind is firing off on a million disconnected thoughts in every direction. - Paralysis by analysis.

So, I've got a bad case of nauseous butterflies, the worst case of heartburn I've had in years, and scatterbrain to the tenth power all at the same time and it's not even dawn yet.

And so easy going, cavalier Bob, with his laid back, take things as they come , Gestalt attitude, is pretty damn scared right now.

ANY prayers, thoughts, good vibes or karma that you can send my way will be appreciated more than you can possibly know.     Thanks.

I'll keep you posted...