One more time around might do it.......

It's just after 4:30 am on Thursday June 9th. Last night was very warm here with a low of 76 degrees. I had just fallen into a fitfull sleep about 2:30. At 4:30  I was awakened by another phone call from Pinnacle. This one has a sense of urgency about it. I was told that I am on standby again, but this time I wasn't told to 'just go about my day until I hear anything". This morning I was told to "have breakfast and then nothing else" and that they would be calling me back as soon as the matching was completed. Now, for all of you who are now thinking "Yeah! Alright!! Goodluck man!!!" and had these same thoughts last week when I was called, let me tell you first, how much I appreciate the good wishes,
Second, let me tell you that right now, as I type this, I am pretty damn petrified.

Last week was like a slap in the face to me where all of this suddenly became very real. I mean, I know it's real when each day I feel a little bit worse than the day before, but since last Friday night there has been this real sense of needing to get things done. Now again, I am under that gun with so much yet to do. Things like scheduling my bills to be paid..., writing down all the passwords to my bill paying accounts...having my house taken care of,work,gettinginvoicesout,gettingmycarinspected,work,getting graduationgiftstakencareof,shoot'sihavescheduled,planningforpeoplecomingtovisit,havingmygardentendedto,makingplansformyclasses,work,takingcareofinsurance...and making a myriad of other plans.

I sit here as the night fades into dawn wondering what / how much I can get done in the next few hours. And yet I sit here with my stomach feeling like I'm about to get on the scariest rollercoaster that I've ever been on and my mind is firing off on a million disconnected thoughts in every direction. - Paralysis by analysis.

So, I've got a bad case of nauseous butterflies, the worst case of heartburn I've had in years, and scatterbrain to the tenth power all at the same time and it's not even dawn yet.

And so easy going, cavalier Bob, with his laid back, take things as they come , Gestalt attitude, is pretty damn scared right now.

ANY prayers, thoughts, good vibes or karma that you can send my way will be appreciated more than you can possibly know.     Thanks.

I'll keep you posted...