Unthought Known

After a very full day of  testing, my yearly evaluation at the tx center is in the books. I think all went well. I  don't expect any bad results from the persantine thallium stress, it seemed to go OK.
I met and talked at length with one of the surgeons - Dr. Narins, also my transplant counselor, and financial advisor (which was very helpful since I'm in a bit of an insurance tumult currently) and finally the psych lady. Ahem.....I think I passed. But I mentioned the fact that I ride a sine wave of emotions that range between extreme anxiety and desperate depression. To this, the doctor quoted the great philosopher Petty and told me that "the waiting is the hardest part". He said that when people are brought in in an ambulance and told they need some sort of surgery right away, they don't get much time to think about it whereas I am getting years to think everything through before we even get started.

The one nugget for thought that Dr. Narins gave me to mull over was the option of going forward with just a kidney transplant for now and then a pancreas transplant later when an organ is available. He said that although I've stated that I only wanted to go through the surgery, etc. once, this option may save me from being placed on dialysis or being rejected by the tx team because I refused to do dialysis. Saying again that since the pancreas is the "touchy" organ / and harder to successfully transplant, that by splitting up the procedure and doing kidney, then pancreas later, this may actually shorten my wait.
And since time isn't exactly on my side.... this is something else to ponder now.

I'm praying for direction.

Thanks for checking in here.
I do appreciate it.